"Best Kept Secret"
Know that the first addition to this site is still accessible through a PDF attachment (click here) and I have updated this page that is being read. Before the site was created at least once a month for the last five years I have searched the web - hoping to get a glimpse of you. After five years
this site was the answer to how my voice was going to be heard and how I would give you my explanation. We all know the sensitivity of the legal aspects of this situation, so until you are eighteen - contact has to be minimal. Before I published this site I determined that you were more than mature enough to handle and process all that I throw out there. If anything I wrote confused you maybe I can explain it better. I sincerely apologize for any confusion or pain I may cause and I will try explaining it differently/better.
I wanted you to know how this situation came about - why we are where we are. My side is yet to be heard and explained. . . . My intentions were to explain as much as I could in the simplest form. I could have easily made a site and asked you to contact me when you are ready. However the fear of you never making contact and never knowing the truth kept me from doing that. Instead I chose this route. Khloe Savannah, you are your own person. You are intelligent and you are very capable of making your own decisions, forming your own opinions, and doing your own research. All that I write can be backed up (proven) simply through court documentations.
Despite the persistent energy and effort it takes for one to go out of his/her way to separate someone from reality (and all the goes with the territory: untruthfulness) I have know that you have the ability to distinguish the truth from the bogus picture that has vividly been painted of me.
As I mentioned in 'Part One", I am your biological father. They'll never take from us. I am a starving Artist in Vegas (www.kriserik.com) with hopes and dreams. Know that you are credited for how far I have come and you'll get to see it for yourself as my next dream and goal unravel right in front of us. We have walked this separation down- and we've done it together. We are the only ones that truly know what it's been like. It won't be much longer. Soon the months will just be weeks. The weeks will be just days…. Then it'll be just hours. Knowing that the clock is ticking enhances my dedication, will-power and courage to conquer my goal in building my dream in Las Vegas. I pledge to be prepared, when you walk the stage. I have missed out on so much- so many precious moments, but know that you can count on me to help you any way I can to conquer your goals. I want to see all of your dreams come true!
I hope the creator of this situation isn't resented. Resentment is a painful emotion and in my opinion it results in being a waste of time. Often we connect resentment to the ones we love. A lesson I just recently learned is: We have to acquire the ability to forgive before we can genuinely love. Please don't let this new chapter of your life convert your thoughts or feelings into sadness, confusion, resentment, bitterness or anger. We have to counteract resentment with forgiveness. Khloe Savannah, I will never even attempt to pull you away from the ones you love. I had to secure my faith - and trust that this situation was okay. Safe. Healthy. Happy. As you have read before, I am sincerely thankful to Clay Shuffield for being a part of your life. I know that he means the world to you and that he's your Dad. I understand it and will continue to support and love you.
When I say that there is not a day the goes by, without thinking of you, that's exactly what I mean. As proof of that I started writing in Daily Journal. It helps me express my feelings and it'll help you get to know me. Upon your request, you will be able to view it firsthand. Words will never express much I love you and how much I miss you . . . I know it may take some time. Trust that I am right here, Khloe. I have absolutely nothing to hide and I will answer every question that you may have. I live for the day to come where I have the opportunity and privilege to look into your eyes and apologize for all the pain that I have caused. I cannot say the words 'I'm Sorry" enough. Khloe Savannah, all of the effort that has been used to create the silence of me - has only created The Best Kept Secret. Know that you have a best friend in Las Vegas, NV - just 1500 miles from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Khloe Savannah, I am so very proud of you. Don't let anyone discourage you. Your dreams will come true. Your goals will be obtained and I will help. You will be experiencing ups and downs and it's normal at your age. Always remember without bad days there won't be good ones. Khloe Savannah, I believe in you and I am here for you on the bad days and the good days.
Awaiting Your Reply
I Miss You and I Love You. I will never Un-Love You,
P.S. If you get this on or before your birthday, Happy Birthday!!! Make it your best and
You can believe that all the ones that we didn't spend together will be made up!